I’m not sure what’s happening to me. I would like to think my impending 50th birthday has something to do with it, but I’m not sure. I am becoming even more impatient than I have always been. I have often thought that I hope there is no line to get into Heaven. If so, I may opt for the warmer alternative!
I guess I have been becoming more and more impatient to leave my Indiana prison. No, I am not literally behind bars, but figuratively, yes. I do feel trapped in this cornfield hell hole. Yeah, I guess the state I have lived in my whole life is not that bad for most, but for me, it couldn’t be worse. In a state like Indiana that has limits on what it has to offer, I have found myself moving away from being impatient about departing its borders to growing angry as to why I am still here.
Turning 50 soon, I would like to think that is midlife, but I know better. I will be lucky to live to 85, thus that leaves 35 years to live somewhere better. Somewhere with new opportunities. New adventures. New sites to see. I feel like I have been down every road and seen everything worth seeing in Indiana. I grow more and more bitter by the day as to why I am still here.
I have been through many reasons over the years. Waiting for my daughter to graduate from high school. That is done. People often talk about leaving family behind. Yes, my daughter lives near, but for how long? Once she is done with college, the world is her oyster and I would advise her to bolt to greener pastures. I have a sister that lives close as well, but with her busy lifestyle, I hardly see her even though we live only miles away. So, what does that leave? A job, yes, but jobs can be had elsewhere. Maybe new opportunities and challenges are exactly what I need to kickstart me on the final leg before retirement.
I would like to move to Denver, Phoenix, Portland, or Seattle. I want new adventures. I want new sites to see. I want new people to meet. I want a change. I know my wife is tired of hearing me talk about this. Maybe this is why I am writing this here … to save her from hearing it again. She is the voice of reason, usually, but that voice is starting to sound like a broken record at this point. Sometimes logic has to go out the window. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and go for it.
Some of the most profound words I have heard recently came from the host of the Family Feud television show here in the states, Steve Harvey.
“When you first jump, your parachute will not open right away. I’m sorry, I wish I could tell you it did, but it don’t,” he continued. “You gonna hit them rocks. You gonna get some skin tore off on those cliffs … you’re going to be bleeding pretty bad. But eventually, the parachute has to open.”
However, if you ever want to get there, you’re going to have to jump.
“You can play it safe and deal without the cuts and the tears and you can stand on that cliff for life forever safe, but if you don’t jump … your parachute will never open. You’ll never know,” said Harvey.
Here is a link to the video clip from Mr. Harvey.
I’m with you, Steve. Watch out below! I’m ready to jump. Hopefully, that parachute will open right away, but if not, that move will still be worth it. If you don’t jump, you will never know what could have been. That’s not something I can live with. I need to know what could have been!