Love is the Answer


Today adds another day to the well over eighteen thousand days that I have seen come and go. I continue to search for happiness and the reason I am here, all the while trying to make a difference and leave this earth a better place for me having been here.

As I have gotten older, my love for animals has grown ten fold from my younger days. My love for individuals has also grown, while my faith in society has waned. I struggle to love myself as I look in the mirror, disgusted with what my body has become. They say you have to love yourself first, which has been hard for me for so long. I’m not sure why I am so hard on myself. I wish I could find a way to be happy with the way I am and what I have and where I am in my life.

So much talk these days in the United States about race and racial inequality. It is not my place as a white man to tell any minority how to feel. How arrogant would that be of me to tell anyone how to feel and what’s right and what’s wrong in relation to prejudice. As a human being, I believe EVERYONE should be treated equally. I doubt that I will live to see the day that this will happen, but, hopefully, one day, probably generations from now, we can achieve human harmony.

As I’ve gotten older, I would like to think I have gotten wiser. I believe I have matured, at least judging by my gray hair and its scarcity on the back of my head. I try to have empathy for all living things. I think twice these days about killing anything, even bugs. I guess as my number of days on this planet are now more in the rearview than ahead, I have become more sympathetic to the preciousness of every breath. We all must remember that everyone on this planet is going through the same thing. We all have a story to tell. Well all have our own set of problems. We are all searching for the meaning of life.

I am very lucky. Both of my parents are still on this earth. I often shudder to think what it is going to be like when the two people who have shaped me into the man I am today will no longer be there for love and support. As I wipe the tears from my eyes, I know I will be ok due to their lifelong influence and the values they have instilled in me. I also have a daughter and a wife that love me very much, not to mention additional family and friends as well.

I need to get to bed. It is now 2:30 a.m. I love to write and think late at night. I believe God opens my mind and my heart to express emotions freely.

This topic makes me think of a song released back in 1995 by the Blessid Union of Souls called, “I Belive”. Take a listen.

… Love is the Answer.

Goodbye Old Friends


As I approach my 50th year on this planet, I have taken inventory of my life and my well-being. It has always been hard for me to not worry about things I cannot control. I worry about everything. Things I can and cannot control. I battle depression and the everyday rigors of life. I have also battled weight issues my whole life.

As a kid, my Mom used to take me shopping for school clothes and, inevitably, we would end up in the Husky (nice way of saying fat) section at the local department store. Luckily, in high school, I played football, thus I had a few months of forced exercise and activity. I remember being around 170 pounds back then, which is a weight I would love to revisit. Unfortunately, at 49, high school football is not an option.

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