School’s Out … Now What?


August 7th will mark the end of my college career, a journey that started nearly 30 years ago. I won’t bore you with the details, but as my time in college has come to an end, many emotions have come over me.

After earning enough credits to finally graduate, I must admit my first emotion was relief. Thank God it was finally over and I would not have to take any additional courses to capture that elusive cap and gown. I also felt a sense of accomplishment. I am not big on following through on a lot of projects that I start, thus this is a major milestone for me. I couldn’t have done it without so many great people in my life telling me that I could cross that finish line. I also felt a sense of pride. As many of you who have worked and gone to school at the same time know, it’s not easy. Schoolwork is the last thing you want to do after yet another bad day at work.

There was also one other feeling that I felt which actually surprised me a little bit … sadness.  I was not sad that the tests and schoolwork were over. No way. I was sad because another chapter in my life was over. I’m sure I would feel differently about this if I were in my early twenties, but now in my early fifties, those feelings have become a bit more complicated. I guess I am becoming more sentimental in my older years.

So, now what? Is this degree going to dramatically change or improve my life? I doubt it. So, what do I do now? I have a few ideas I am kicking around, but the hardest part is getting out there and doing them. I suffer from “analysis paralysis” as they like to say. I try to learn as much about my subject as I can before jumping in. Unfortunately, more often than not, that leads to not jumping in at all.

So, the next few months and few years will be interesting. Time is ticking on that old retirement clock. Yes, I still have some time, but that time to accumulate additional wealth is also ticking.

To steal a catch phrase from Nike, I guess it’s time to “JUST DO IT!”

 

Tick, Tick, Tick


When the calendar turns to April, I will be able to see my 50th birthday on the calendar page. As that joyous (yeah, right) occasion approaches, I feel my life is in turmoil, at least in my head.

I have so many things that I want to do, but not sure what the right thing to do is. I would love to buy a vacation/retirement home out west, but not sure how to go about it or where to start. I have read somewhere that says you should not buy a home like that without paying cash for it. Well, unless I am buying a dollhouse, that isn’t going to happen. I also read about how much you pay for your home to the bank in the interest over the life of your loan. They said it’s basically like you are buying three houses. One for you, and two for the bank after you pay them the interest. So, then I get thinking that we should put all available money toward our current house to pay that off as quickly as possible.

With retirement looming in just over 15 years, time is running out. Good decision making is critical.

My heart says go west young man. I know with all my being, I want to leave Indiana for the wild, wild west. I am tired of Indiana and it’s lack of anything interesting. If I live to be 85, I greatly look forward to being able to enjoy the beautiful scenery that the west affords.

Now if I can just figure out if we can afford it.

mesa-arch-902524_640

Does it Get Better?


In my 48 years on this planet, I cannot remember a time when I have been this confused and unsettled. On the outside, I look like any other average Joe, but on the inside, I am a whirlwind of emotions. My emotions include sadness, anger, dread, despair, incompleteness, disappointment, and self-loathing to name just a few. I know, it sounds pretty dark in there. It’s not as dark as it sounds, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

It’s Not Just Me?

I read an article today about midlife crisis, which hit home for me on a lot of its points. I guess I was glad to hear that this kind of thing is common, but it doesn’t help me put my life back where I want it to be … in a happy place.

Continue reading